03.18.09
I May Have Birthed a Mobile Phone
I keep reminding myself of the well-known quote: You’re only as old as you feel.” I constantly struggle with internal dialog that goes something like this:
O: The world is changing so fast I can’t keep up.
Y: Think young, you’re only as old as you feel.
O: Every time I learn something new on my mobile phone or computer something better is available – I can’t learn this fast!
Y: Think young baby – you’re only as old as you feel.
O: First there was email, then instant message…gasp…text messaging…gasp… and twittering! I now spend my evenings chatting on facebook. The world is changing so fast, I told you I can’t keep up!
Y: Think young girl – you can do it!
My daughter dropped her mobile phone in the toilet. “Our” account qualified for an upgrade. What the heck, we’ll both get new phones. This time with a qwerty keyboard, then it won’t take me five minutes to peck out a one sentence text. Oh sure, throw in the bundle, what the heck. I’ve got it all now: travel charger, Bluetooth headset, and for free (yeah, sure) a memory card so my phone will hold even more music and photos – if only I knew how to download them. I was hoping my daughter would want the same phone model then she could teach me how to use it. But noooo, she wanted a different unit.
I read the instruction book – the long version. The problem is the memory, that is, my memory doesn’t work as well as it did WHEN I WAS YOUNGER. OK, OK, I’m only as old as I feel.
I went back to the phone store and the patient, young saleslady demonstrated my wireless Bluetooth device so I can look like I’m walking around talking to myself. She says, “Hold down on this until you see the blinking blue light to turn it on, this is the volume up and this one is the down.” Heck, I can’t even see what’s she talking about. But I pretend that I am following along. At the same time I am thinking, that looks as complicated as my mother’s hearing aid. The 7,000 dollar job she never wore because she couldn’t use the built-in programs. I suppose she didn’t think young enough.
I wore the Bluetooth home, just like I did a new pair of shoes as a kid. The new shoes put blisters on my heels and this gadget feels like a cucumber in my ear. But by golly I paid for it and I’m gonna use it. Now what was it – a flashing red and then blue light to turn it off or on? And how many times was it that the blue light will flash when it…?
Speaking of flash…flashback to the labor and delivery room: “hee, hee, hoo – hee, hee, hoo” or was it, “hoo, hee, hee”? I’m feeling younger already.
