The Masks We Wear
I called a former classmate’s mother to try to reconnect. I haven’t seen him in nearly twenty years. Her evasiveness made me wonder, Could it just be a mind gone bad? I told her who I was, my daddy’s name –one that establishes our reputation. I went on to say I had once attended the same church and finally the tone of her voice changed as if to say, Ah, I recall a connection. We ended the conversation and she said she would give him my number. Her unspoken words communicated protection. Information she did not want to share. I later learned her son is in drug rehab.
Mother why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you cry out, “My baby’s in rehab and I don’t know what to do!” I could have cried with you. I could have prayed right there on the phone for mercy, for healing, for peace. Instead you are alone in your sorrow and me in mine. Your son, my friend who needs more than either of us can give.
Mother, why didn’t you tell me? Were you afraid I would judge? So what if I had? Would that make a difference? Would it have changed his circumstance or yours?
Mother, why didn’t you tell me so that I could have had the choice of compassion or condemnation? For compassion frees the soul for both you and me and our hearts could be lighter as we shared a common bond. Condemnation only binds us to the slavery of self-hate.
“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2-3 NIV).
Wanted to make your day and comment here! The door is open for ministry with this family. Blessings!
Phyllis Wall at 8:12am April 9
I believe it is hard for parents who have a child that does not fit into the “mold” our society has set for them. When all people can do is condem the child’s actions and the parent’s actions, it is not a matter of pride, but the pain of public, added to an already broken heart and lifel. It is in these times that we must pray to our God that is faithful to hear our cries! The Prodigal child!
Phyllis Wall at 8:18am April 9
Bruce, I agree with you in that our actions, when God opens our eyes to a situation, is what our mission is. What will we do with the information we have been given?
Bruce at 8:38am April 9
Phyllis, you are right about us being too busy to care. You are right, there is huge support in Plv for those hurting, and my comments were not intended as a judgment on Plv but rather the norm that I bought into as a youth. I struggle daily with opening up with my buddies and letting them in on my problems. I think it comes from the whole WW II tough guy mentality thing. Were my parents wrong in the way they raised me? No. Can I be better? Yes.
Phyllis Wall at 8:44am April 9
True Bruce. I should write a book ;o( Until then, I pray that God continues to use me as a comfort to others in pain, whatever it might be! I know he is using you!!! Plainview does not enter into the overall picture because it is just one town in a whole generation of raisings ;o) It is specific to us and I know that is what you meant. Have a wonderful Easter!!!
Retha Morton Pittman at 8:47am April 9
:) and I know she missed a personal blessing by not having your prayer where she could hear your tender petition before the throne, but I know you are all about this now-she will know.
After having been diagnosed with severe panic disorder and after many, many months of therapy and finding the other right procedures-meds and hysterectomy-I was overwhelmed with delights and enthusiam with healing. (15 years ago) I set out to “educate” people on this terrifying disease, my doctor said, “You don’t owe everyone an explanation” She … Read Morewas a wonderful Christian physician. I was offended initially because I didn’t want anyone to suffer through lack of knowledge as I had with panic attacks. Her words afforded me the realization that we don’t always owe an explanation we must rely on the Spirit’s prompting for when and where to reveal…however, not all of us rely on the Spirit…and Belinda you are a mighty prayer warrior and have amazing life experiences that would lay most of us out flat
Phyllis Wall at 8:52am April 9
I think the door has been opened for a Belinda ministry. What a blessing for whomever!!! ;o)
Retha Morton Pittman at 8:53am April 9
And….yes we wear masks….and most of the time I think some of us never feel we measure up or we feel we HAVE measured up. Through your posting I am again reminded what a passion you have for others. I have grown from knowing your personal testimony and stand amazed at your resilience and walk with God. You and I find “mask wearing” a little… Read More smothering…but that has a lot to do with our personalities as well…my quest here is to assure you that you are not to be offended by her reaction. And also to tell you that this was fun for you to post this and see the responses…thank you, it was enlightening to see others’ thoughts as well. Hugs!
Phyllis Wall at 8:55am April 9
I agree Retha!
Loved your piece, Belinda! It is a reflective piece that will cause us to consider the blessing we are missing when we choose privacy over confidentiality…when we choose to reveal our pains and hurts to others over “protective” disclosure. Thank you!
…rather…”protective” NONdisclosure…